Inside the Bright Life of a Murdered Hollywood Sex Therapist – Rolling Stone

It used to be gradual into the evening of Valentine’s Day, a detail that will maybe well not bolt skipped over later on. Dr. Amie Harwick, 38, had handsome gotten home from attending a burlesque efficiency, and she used to be texting with her greatest pal Robert Coshland about an upcoming shuttle to the U.Okay. He despatched her the derive feature for a restaurant in Edinburgh that had been urged to him. At 1: 01 a.m. she answered to bid the restaurant appeared cool.

Fifteen minutes later, at 1: 16 a.m., law enforcement officers spoke back to a list of a lady screaming at Harwick’s Hollywood Hills home. Harwick’s roommate had called police, jumping over the fence to greet them. They stumbled on Harwick crumpled under her maintain balcony, unresponsive. She had been strangled and thrown out of her maintain third-floor window. She used to be rushed to the scientific institution, however later died of blunt power accidents to her head and torso. Her reason on the encourage of demise would later be determined execute.

On Saturday afternoon, Gareth Pursehouse, a utility engineer, photographer, and aspiring comedian, used to be arrested and held on $2 million bail, and charged with one rely of execute and first-stage residential burglary, and of lying in wait. He faces the demise penalty or existence in prison without the chance of parole if stumbled on responsible. His arraignment is scheduled for April 16th. (His public defender, Robin Bernstein-Lev, says in a commentary to Rolling Stone: “Mr. Pursehouse is presumed innocent and it is the prosecution’s burden to point in any other case in a court of laws with competent proof, not hypothesis, rumor nor innuendo, and to meet that burden past any and all cheap doubt. It is miles my privilege to tell and defend Mr. Pursehouse and to self-discipline these allegations in court.”)

Harwick’s longtime mates had been conversant in Pursehouse, 41. He and Amie had dated within the 2010s for handsome a few months. The connection had ended badly: Pursehouse used to be abusive and controlling, in accordance to 2 restraining orders Amie had filed against him in 2011 and 2012. Since then, Amie would usually talk to him in conversation as “my stalker,” however her mates recount she had labored laborious to get better from the trauma of their short-lived relationship, and he had receded into the background of her busy, brilliant existence. She had largely forgotten about him, however, as the Los Angeles County District Approved reliable’s place of job currently alleges, he had not forgotten about her.

These who knew Harwick casually knew her as a strikingly vivid lady who used to be steadily dressed to the nines, making the rounds at burlesque golf equipment and bolt-bolt bars and art exhibitions and metal concert events and events at Brookledge, a non-public efficiency living and a hub of the city’s magic neighborhood. “She dressed objective with a contact of goth,” one particular person in her social circle said. “Very grown-up Wednesday Addams.”

But Harwick’s many shut mates knew her as “gleaming and outlandish,” says musician and gallery proprietor Thomas Negovan. She used to be fiercely self-sufficient and driven, paying her maintain formula via a masters stage at Pepperdine College and a doctorate from the Institute for the Developed Look of Human Sexuality by conserving multiple side gigs straight away: modeling, bartending, fire-drinking, bolt-bolt dancing. She used to be drawn to darkness: to the occult, to Charles Manson Family execute sufferer Sharon Tate (whose bras she as soon as supplied at an public sale), to moral taxidermy, to the preserved organs in jars on show conceal at Philadelphia’s Affirm Museum, which she giddily made her mates talk over with on a shuttle to the city. There used to be an exuberance to this admire of all issues gruesome and unholy, says Dr. Hernando Chaves, a sex therapist and Harwick’s longtime pal. “The darkness made her really feel alive and gratified,” he says. “Even within the toughest events of her existence she used to be steadily enthusiastic.”

Above all else, she used to be a rarity in Hollywood: a really empathetic and caring particular person. “She took her pure formula of connecting with other folks into her therapy world and that’s what made her an effective therapist,” says Coshland.

Which is why, within the weeks following her demise, her relatives had been dismayed to perceive the media coverage surrounding Harwick focusing not on her existence nor her work, however on, as Coshland puts it, her “proximity to celebrities” — particularly, to Drew Carey, the affable host of The Label Is the Shapely, to whom Harwick used to be as soon as engaged. “It used to be so frustrating to perceive the media point of curiosity on her celeb ex,” says mannequin Emily Sears, who used to be Harwick’s affected person for two years. “She used to be handsome a lady who used to be obsessive about what she did.”

Harwick grew up in Lansdale, Pennsylvania, the adoptive daughter of Penny and Tom Harwick. Her family used to be shut, and she would on a frequent foundation focus on flying home to encourage their annual cookie events. In highschool, she labored on the native mall’s Moist Seal and Bavarian Pretzel, idolizing artists admire Marilyn Manson (whom mates recount she later briefly dated) and Depeche Mode. “I frolicked with the goth young other folks and the rocker young other folks and all people used to be getting into trouble,” she said in a 2011 video for thought to be one of her modeling gigs. “I was attempting to settle out who I was.” She fell in admire with a musician for a heavy metal band and married young, transferring to Los Angeles in 2001.

In frequent L.A. vogue, Harwick became one thing of a grasp of self-reinvention. In a single portray from highschool, she wears brown matte lipstick, a shock of teased blond bangs falling over her kohl-rimmed eyes; handsome after she’d handsome moved to California, one pal says, she wore Juicy Couture sweatsuits and self-tanner, not having but perfected the glamorous, classic-impressed vivid she’d later rock in crimson carpet photos. But there used to be a drive and a fierceness to Amie that a lot of her mates lacked, says her pal, heavy metal band Crude Wolves frontman Tommy Vext. “Folks come to L.A. to redefine themselves however reasonably than enact work, they handsome faux to be somebody else and get hang of by on that,” he says. “Amie used to be handsome a diversified roughly particular person.”

Before the entirety, Harwick started working as a non-public trainer, releasing a exercise DVD called Match to Rock, and modeling under the identify Amie Nicole. With her ink-unlit hair and pores and skin the coloration of clotted cream, Harwick slot in snugly with the Suicide Ladies vivid that used to be gaining prominence within the mid-2000s. It helped that she bore a more-than-passing resemblance to Dita von Teese, and the two undoubtedly traveled in overlapping circles (even though mates recount they had been principally chilly toward each and each other). She used to be adept at networking, procuring the phone numbers of A-checklist celebrities with a facility shared by most effective the exceptionally confident. “She’d be keen on somebody and she’d recount, ‘I’m gonna meet that particular person,’ and she’d invent the phone calls and bolt enact it,” says Coshland. In highschool, for occasion, she’d idolized David Lynch, most effective to encourage Mary Reber, the proprietor of Twin Peaks’ Laura Palmer’s home.

At a bolt-bolt dancing gig in early 2010, she met Pursehouse, an IT specialist and aspiring comedian who also labored as a photographer. Pursehouse used to be 6’4″ and healthful-taking a look, a deviation from the Sunset Strip metal kinds Amie principally dated. But her mates had been not overly impressed. “To me Gareth used to be handsome one other L.A. Ken doll failing to turn into an actor or comedian,” says Vext. “There used to be nothing particular about him.” One more longtime pal of Amie’s says Pursehouse reminded her of one other blandly vivid, outwardly stress-free man: Ted Bundy. “He did a lot of mirroring,” says the pal, who requested not to be named. “You’d recount, ‘I love chocolate milkshakes,’ and he’d recount, ‘Oh my god, I admire chocolate milkshakes!” She compares him to the aliens from third Rock From the Solar, “attempting to imitate how he thought humans behaved.”

While they keep in mind Pursehouse being overly solicitous of Amie to a stage that they stumbled on unfortunate, Amie didn’t really feel that formula, not not as much as not early within the relationship. Vext attributes that in segment to Harwick struggling with a fright of abandonment, which she and Vext traced to being young other folks of adoption; The Primal Hurt, a guide in regards to the psychological effects of adoption, used to be thought to be one of her favourite texts. “Now and again with other folks with abandonment components, it’s better to in point of fact feel foremost reasonably than wished,” he says. “I might maybe well know how any individual admire Gareth having an unhealthy obsession might maybe well [have made her] really feel steady.”

A one year and a half later, in June 2011, Amie filed her first restraining uncover against Pursehouse. In court documents, she alleged that on multiple events, Pursehouse had “choked me, suffocated me, pushed me against partitions, kicked me, dropped me to the ground with power, power-restrained me, slammed my head into the ground and punched me with a closed fist.” That ask used to be brushed off for lack of prosecution, which in most cases technique that the petitioner chose not to exercise; while it’s unclear why Amie chose not to the main time, she used to be granted one other restraining uncover in 2012, alleging that he had pulled her out of a vehicle, giving her a bloody nose, and left her on the parkway. She also alleged that he had broken into her condominium multiple events and smashed her image frames, texting her the chilling rejoinder that “issues will get hang of worse.” She by no technique renewed the restraining uncover against Pursehouse (by California laws, restraining orders can’t exceed five years), maybe on memoir of she used to be scared to appear in court again with him, as would had been required for her to resume the restraining uncover, in accordance to the pal who requested not to be named.

In the intervening years, any individual persisted to terrorize Amie. Every few years, she’d procure merciless posts about her of unknown authorship taking medicines on an atrocious gossip web feature. As soon as, prior to a protracted shuttle, she requested Chaves to glance her cat Marquis at his home, on memoir of she used to be panicked any individual would ruin in and “enact one thing to [her] cat,’” he remembers. Yet Harwick used to be by no technique in a position to identify the source of the harassment. Though she suspected Pursehouse, she also suspected a feeble female pal, who had beforehand despatched her harassing text messages and emails, might maybe well possess also been the offender. (Harwick filed a restraining uncover by dissimilarity pal in 2015.)

Mockingly, it used to be in segment such harassment that led Amie to her most pleasant feature, as a therapist that specialise in sex and relationships. Even supposing she had before the entirety hoped to specialise in family counseling, Harwick had lost her job working with juvenile offenders after any individual despatched nude photos from her modeling days to her employer. “She felt admire it used to be pointless and dumb that she’d lose jobs over nude photos she’d completed,” says Coshland.

As a outcomes of this expertise, Harwick pivoted to relationship and sex therapy, finding explicit fulfillment in treating other folks with marginalized sexual identities, similar to sex staff, kinky, or non-monogamous other folks. This made her considerably of a rarity within the psychological health field, as many sex staff procure it delicate to search out psychological health suppliers who enact not make a choice them for their professions, or help them to leave. “It’s incredibly laborious for adult performers to search out psychological health encourage with out a a part of social judgment,” says Gustavo Turner, an adult alternate journalist and data editor at Xbiz who knew Harwick socially. As a feeble goth child with mates within the BDSM and kink communities, Harwick felt uniquely equipped to “come up for these marginalized for their identities,” says Chaves. On the time of her demise she had started working with Pineapple Improve, an organization of sex-work-obvious psychological health professionals that had been founded in gradual 2017 within the wake of a rash of adult-alternate suicides.

To boot to to this work, Harwick had her maintain apply in West Hollywood, the place she seen clients admire Emily Sears, a mannequin who coincidentally had had her maintain horrifying accomplice-became-abuser and stalker almost a decade within the past. On the time, Sears had no thought Harwick had had her maintain experiences with a home abuser; her therapist had by no technique introduced it up. But Harwick’s maintain experiences clearly told how she used to be in a position to narrate to her sufferers. Sears describes her as reliable, warm, and empathetic. “She helped me deal so noteworthy with my fears of the past and my fears of it occurring again within the long speed,” says Sears.

At some stage in her time in L.A., Harwick had dated a name of musicians and celebrities, however her relationship with Drew Carey, the 61-one year-extinct droll and host of The Label is Shapely, used to be particular. Carey, who she had met via their mutual pal, Corpulent Home producer Jeff Franklin, used to be dissimilar to most of her exes, in that he used to be really “a nice man,” says Coshland. “When she started dating Drew, we had been admire, ‘Oh at final.’” In gradual 2018, nonetheless, Carey and Harwick broke up. Though mates declined to commentary on the rationale on the encourage of the breakup, as antagonistic to to bid they’d differing verbal exchange kinds, Harwick used to be devastated. “It used to be thought to be one of many few moments I’d considered her in anxiousness and crumbling,” says Chaves. (In an email to Rolling Stone, a spokesperson for Carey declined to commentary, announcing he would not be giving interviews; on February 17th, he posted a portray of him with Harwick on Twitter, writing, “I’m hoping you’re lucky sufficient to possess any individual for your existence that loves as noteworthy as she did.”)

On January 17th, 2020, Harwick used to be living to appear on a panel about psychological health and counseling at Xbiz, an adult alternate industry conference and awards point out. Her look used to be final minute; one other Pineapple Improve member had bowed out, and Harwick had gladly stepped in. She used to be about to bolt the crimson carpet with Chaves when she spotted Pursehouse, who used to be attending as a photographer. In step with Chaves and Coshland, to whom Harwick later linked the incident, Pursehouse grew extraordinarily agitated, yelling at Harwick, “You’re a hypocrite,” and, “You broke my heart.” It had been in relation to a decade since they’d final considered each and each other.

Following Pursehouse’s outburst, Harwick excused herself to “bolt into therapist mode” and deescalate the self-discipline, says Chaves, who seen them sitting collectively on a bench by the restrooms and talking while he used to be waiting in line to bolt the crimson carpet. “He used to be flailing his hands,” says Chaves. “You might maybe well maybe perceive there used to be a lot of angst or ruin or anxiousness.” Later, for the length of the ceremony itself, Pursehouse approached their desk to proceed the conversation with Harwick, for the length of which she excused herself again to sit down down and talk with him within the same home. To his data, Xbiz security officers didn’t intervene for the length of the initial altercation, Chaves says. (In an announcement, Xbiz administration said, “Gareth used to be thought to be one of many qualified photographers and members of the click credentialed to duvet the match and had beforehand covered this match. The match is staffed with many security personnel to make optimistic the protection of our traffic. This one year, there had been 26 security personnel on feature.” They declined to commentary further.)

After the ceremony, a very rattled Harwick sat with Chaves at a diner, unpacking the events of the evening. In step with Chaves, they talked about purchasing mace or pepper spray, moreover to altering the locks on her doors. They talked about going to the police. Chaves supplied to sleep over, however Harwick declined, announcing she had a contemporary roommate in her home and felt steady. So they completed their food and went home. Harwick later told Chaves she’d gotten mace and pepper spray and had a handyman add locks. “I felt she used to be doing the entirety she foremost to enact to guard herself,” he says. “I couldn’t envision any individual would bolt this far.”

What came about within the early morning hours of February 15th is quiet not fully clear. But in accordance to an announcement from the LAPD, police investigation of Harwick’s home “printed that it’s doubtless you’ll maybe well deem of proof of a fight within the upstairs moreover to forced entry to the feature”; surveillance photographs of the neighborhood later confirmed a white man dressed in all unlit within the home. In step with the commentary, “detectives realized that sufferer had currently expressed fright a pair of feeble boyfriend and… the sufferer had considered this feeble boyfriend two weeks within the past.” Mates went via the same thought process, flashing encourage to what had came about at Xbiz the moment they heard that Harwick died. “She’d even said, ‘If anything happens to me, it’s [Pursehouse],’” says Coshland.

Pursehouse used to be arrested on Saturday, however made bail on Tuesday evening. He used to be re-arrested again the following day. Two of Harwick’s mates uncover Rolling Stone that within the intervening time, guitarist Dave Navarro, who they recount used to be a pal of Amie’s, had contacted the police, having realized from mutual mates of Pursehouse that he erroneously believed Harwick had cheated on him with Navarro for the length of their relationship. Navarro told not not as much as thought to be one of them he believed himself to be in hazard, and on his Instagram story, Navarro said that he did name the police to re-arrest Pursehouse encourage into custody, as “mates had been alerted he meant to purpose one other sufferer.” But when reached for commentary, a spokesperson for Navarro said he most effective called the police as a “eager pal” and an advocate for home violence survivors, to make optimistic he wouldn’t stay out on bail. (Navarro’s mother used to be also killed by an abusive ex-boyfriend.) The spokesperson also denied Navarro and Harwick had had a relationship. “They hadn’t spoken rapidly,” the spokesperson said. “They weren’t shut mates.” The LAPD also declined to commentary, directing Rolling Stone to their commentary about Pursehouse’s arrest.

These who lose a loved one violently and without be conscious principally attach a demand to if there’s anything they will also’ve completed to possess averted the tragedy. And even supposing we received’t know the details of Pursehouse’s involvement except he is tried, within the case of Amie Harwick, who has turn into a totem for survivors of intimate accomplice violence within the weeks following her demise, mates snort in regards to the greatest “what if” questions payment asking possess much less to enact with circumstance and more to enact with laborious-and-mercurial policy.

What if, for occasion, the speak of California issued restraining orders without expiration dates? What if there used to be a stalker registry for fogeys that had been served with restraining orders, the same formula there might be for sex offenders? What if stalking victims had been not required to appear in court with their abusers to help restraining orders, as would had been required for Amie to resume hers against Pursehouse? And what if there used to be early intervention for stalkers and home abusers to curb the possibility of violence escalating? These are the questions that encourage Harwick’s relatives up at evening. “If a baby is potentially in hazard we send out a social worker, we send out CPS. We glance at it,” says Chaves. “Why don’t we enact the same with home violence?”

In the wake of Harwick’s demise, a petition has circulated calling for the expansion of apt protections for survivors of home violence, which has garnered in relation to 100,000 signatures. It calls for signers to give a enhance to the passage of laws admire SB 1141, which would broaden the definition of intimate accomplice violence past physical abuse to invent coercive alter, or a accomplice depriving one other of private liberty, an offense punishable by as much as one one year in prison. On social media, many possess dilapidated the hashtag #Justice4Amie to foyer for such adjustments. “All people speaks out says how sorry they’re when [domestic violence] and Stalking Victims are murdered but enact nothing to encourage give a enhance to reforms that can undoubtedly save lives,” one approved reliable and advocate for survivors currently tweeted. “Here’s why so many will proceed to die.”

In the intervening time, nonetheless, other survivors similar to Emily Sears — ladies who relied on Harwick to encourage them get better from their very maintain trauma linked to intimate accomplice abuse — are left to stay in fright, vivid corpulent well what the loss of Harwick, a well informed reliable who dilapidated the total alternate choices afforded to her by the machine, represents. “If this would maybe happen to her — who knew what to enact and is educated to encourage other folks in these circumstances — how are ladies alleged to process that? No longer handsome her clients, however all ladies?,” she says. “If one thing admire this can also happen to the helper when this happens to other ladies, then none of us are steady. It handsome feels admire none of us are steady.”

If you happen to or any individual you perceive is experiencing home violence, please name the National Domestic Violence Hotline (available 24/7) at 1-800-799-7233 or talk over with thehotline.org.